I’ve got some amazing articles to post here over the next couple of weeks, though in the meantime I’ll ‘blog it up’ as it were because I have a fascinating snippet to share.
Many people have oral fixations and even more won’t admit it, I’ll wager 7 out of 10 random people in a room. Fixations are common because children don’t grow up in ideal circumstances. We bond with various elements as adults, that we found soothing as children—that’s the theory, anyway, which I learned from my limited psychological studies. According to what I learned, there are 3 main fixations but only remember 2. Anal and oral, which all comes from our baby minds processing the world around us; I’ve been fascinated by the oral fixation details because…well, we care about that which impacts us.
It’s been years since I began coming to terms with my oral fixation and there is still a lot to learn and understand. It occurs to me that this fixation is associated with my pacifier days because when I’m musing or distressed, it’s calming or focusing {as applicable} to have something in my mouth. For a long while I was constantly smoking cigarettes because of this. Many people will argue that smoking will ease nerves and I’ve never been a member of that school of thought. I’ll feel calmer, sure, but I’m fairly sure that’s because craving nicotine was the cause for my not-calm. I smoked pot for a while because everyone was doing it, but it doesn’t treat me like it does everyone else—though truth be told, I smoked irresponsibly and also had untreated ADHD.
Regardless, it’s all got side-effects and I loathe side-effects; “this is helpful, but…” like the one time I felt relaxed and focused and high and spontaneously repainted half the living room while my spousums was at work. The day ended well enough, we finished when he got home and the colour is still here years later {its beautiful} but that’s one of my good stories.
There are other things to put in your mouth, even without getting pervy, and people who overeat often have oral fixations. Personally, I’m not a big fan of food because it also has side-effects such as weight-gain or digestion issues. I’ve never been one for allergies {other than dust, mold and pollen} but I do have a ‘moody’ stomach and my body has been known to fall asleep when digesting heavy foods.
It’s time to get pervy. My very favourite thing to have in my mouth is a tasty cock, which I have come to accept isn’t as available as I truly want. This is not to say I don’t have an appreciative and loving spousums who is always willing to satisfy my urges as much as he can. On a normal week, I get 25-45 minutes each weekday night and what we call ‘sessions’ during the weekend; that means he might be mine for several minutes 2-4 times on his days off.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself if I’m a greedy slut, which is definitely a likely possibility as I certainly am a slut and proud of it {in certain environments, yikes}. Thinking deep and hard, I realized that an oral fixation manifesting in this way has buried roots. The thing that sparked this thinking quest was a discussion we were having about the website; I was experiencing ‘ADHD distress’ which is when I’m really worked up about not understanding something simple and not understanding why. It triggers a loop like Ouroboros and ends when I’ve exhausted myself, which doesn’t do much to learn but…if life was perfect, we wouldn’t be here.
To note, we did eventually figure out what I wasn’t understanding and my spousums is now learning when to stop offering information and simply ask ‘what don’t you understand?’ I’ll expand on this and relevant experiences under ADHD & Me.
He asked me one time, ‘in all seriousness, how often would you suck cock if you could have as much as you wanted?’ to which I replied “about 5-10 minutes every hour or so” and now I’m waiting for Frankie to arrive in the mail.
The internets has something for everyone, as we already knew, and when I google searched for ‘dildos I can suck on’ {while sitting on his lap, because that’s how awesome I am} we eventually stumbled upon a phosphorous purple dildo designed to practice deep-throating. This is an important trait because there are some dildos out there that you do NOT want to put in your mouth.
I’ll be sure to share vivid details of my experience
Puppet out
