BlogTetaScreams

Recent Thoughts part three

As I begin to learn more about my executive functions skillset, I’m strengthening each of the 7 skills. Earlier today I felt a great sense of accomplishment for posting wordy bits on all 7 skills, plus the overhead piece—what a fabulous example of rare follow-through on my part! A few hours later I feel kind of empty and sad—now is time to begin another project, is perhaps what I’m feeling. Or perhaps I want to celebrate my accomplishment? Dr. Ned Hallowell {has ADHD himself} is talking about ‘our natural resting place’ isn’t enough, or whatnot, and that’s why we’re so prone to addictions. He suggests physical exercise and some other thing I don’t remember. I like the way he thinks, for the most part, and he’s got a lot I can work with—perhaps I’ll take this hour or so to expose some deep thoughts…and then pack up for path work.

He’s got this podcast called Distraction {email to connect@distractionpodcast.com} which I totally cannot listen while writing, lolz

Anyhow—my ‘natural resting place’ {which may or may not be the term he used, think of it as a state of mind between projects} isn’t very restful, more often than not. This is conditioned, I theorize, as it’s hard for me to feel relaxed when I ‘haven’t earned it’ by ‘accomplishing/working enough.’ It’s also often circumstantial because relaxing is challenging when stimuli never seems to calm down: the neighbors across the way set off 2 small explosions about ten minutes ago. I’ll focus on my Zen place to bring my anxiety back to normal:

I imagine a loud rumbling or perhaps the wind picks up, I can see multi-coloured lights from the window to my right. An enormous ship is settling down in vacant lot that is the same distance from me as it is from my nemesis across the way. There’s not much dust today and they’re oddly careful not to damage any local plant-life. Perhaps I don’t feel like running out there to greet them, not when Zeffy’s at work—bring Lewis seems rude, but I’m loathe to leave him in the house when I’m romping solo. I named our handgun so I’m less afraid of it, we’re in rural Midwest USland and I’m a healing witch with ADHD; Lewis is my constant outsiding companion. So instead I shut down my electronics, get the video camera and snacks and set up to watch from this window…

This ship is huge, maybe 50ft tall and 20ft wide—my ability to measure from a distance is terrible, but I’ve got it all on video, plus random bits of cat ear as both kitties are curious ‘what’s going on out there!?’ or whatever. The funny thing is the ship is shaped like a tophat, and I can tell it’s settled directly on the ground—I’m itching to investigate, but I’ll have to wait. In the meantime, I can watch the locals poke around as they become ‘curious.’

The first to arrive, of course, are the sketchy idiots who ‘live’ across the way {whoever they are, they squat—also, locals theorize they make/sell meth} and this is fun to watch as these 3 bundled-up menfolk strut over, casually carrying rifles…

What do I imagine next? Actually, I feel better now so imma shut down the laptop for a while and do some path work. We’ll get a full loop this year!