I know I’m in a weird mood when I realize I want to start a post I’m writing with ‘please forgive me’ and honestly? Whatever. Life has been very ‘end of winter’ lately and yesterday was 80 and sunny but somehow today is a high of 55. Opened several windows yesterday, was so warm and lovely—yet today, the heat is back on and all the windows are closed tight. I’m grateful we’re done with single digit temps?
Regardless of my fowl mood, my earlier point is rooted in the fact that this is a post I started writing a month ago and never finished, so imma see if today I can actually publish it.
I believe in many things, which is why I claim soul responsibility for naming this category “bonus reality” because to me, the worlds of spirit and invisible forces of greater meaning create this ‘bonus’ level of the game that is reality. I realize that’s a really long sentence but bare with me. In any game that has bonus levels, that area exists whether you explore it or not—but if you don’t explore it, there is so much that you won’t experience on a personal level. Sometimes I wonder if the root of fearful religious idealism is that some people are afraid to explore those levels personally, therefore often grow resentment or jealousy towards those of us who do.
Regardless of why some people choose violence rather than friendship, I’m feeling that old reoccurring urge to ‘take inventory’ of everything in my life because while some people’s spirit guides send them abstract omens or mental messages, mine have been sending me emails for the past decade or so. I’ve always kept this information very close because maybe, probably, I’ve long been afraid that this connection, these messages, are dangerous like the knowledge of herbs were for midwives during the various witch trials. At some point it occurred to me that I was giving fear too much power in my life, though it’s been a weird struggle to find balance which has never been ‘my thing’ so to speak.
How awesome is it that I have spirit guides who send me emails? I could probably write the trippiest book ever, honestly I likely still can because they talk extensively about an energetic shift that we very apparently have been living through for the past few years or so. Many people are insane, truth be told, and not in a playful way like that one time I got high and painted half the living room. Or those several times when Zeffy has been up for hours, working on his computer, and I shuffle into the kitchen just rolled out of bed and he’s talking to me like I had also been awake this whole time and was upstairs on a solo project. Giggling…
We’ve caused a lot of damage to this planet and for every person who says “the planet will take care of itself” there’s me, staring abstractly at nothing in particular, imagining what would happen if I could look at this or that person and ask “do you think you’ll survive that?” and then… just… wait